so complicated

The more I learn, the more I realize how big and complicated it all is. It is beginning to really hit me, all the sorrow of it all. The fact that there are so many children here living without families or much adult influence at all. I have seen these kids be cursed at and ignored. I am praying a lot about what it means to keep hope. I have to keep hope because they don´t have much, and if I lose hope, then I can´t help as much as I want to. One of my leaders spoke about trying to repair the roof of the shelter for some of the kids. He has given money to have it repaired several times. But it is still broken. He says that for him, it is an analogy for the kids. They too are broken in so many ways, that it can be like trying to repair that stupid roof. I didn´t really want to hear that. But now that I am seeing more and more of the desperation, I am seeing that my hope for them has to come from God. The problems are huge, but I have to believe that God really is bigger. I have to believe that because he has shown me these kids, that He wants them to know that they are so important and worthwhile. Maybe there is power and beauty in knowing their names and stories. For me, they have ceased to be an idea or an abstract example of poverty. They are real. And they are my friends. So though it seems small, I will do all I can to hold out hope, no matter how many times I need to be reminded of that, or how many times we seem to fail. Friends, please hope with me. This cycle of oppression is too big for me to carry.